Umbridge's World Trip
by Moonlight Lantern
Summary: After drinking a cup of drugged tea, Umbridge finds herself in the Hetalia universe. How will the characters react to her? Will she be intact when she gets back, or will she have to be sent to St. Mungo's?
1. From kittens to katanas

**Welcome, my wonderful readers! Today I am uploading a new story! This is basically where Umbridge meets the Hetalia characters and er... encounters strange things. I know that I really should be working on my other Hetalia fanfic, "Canadian Bacon", but this plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. Hope you enjoy! I do not own Harry Potter or Hetalia.**

* * *

Dolores Umbridge strolled down the Hogwarts corridors, humming happily to herself. She had just given that Potter brat some well-deserved detention. Spouting lies about the rise of You-Know-Who! What nonsense. You-Know-Who was dead, everyone knew that.

She opened the door to her bedroom and plopped down on a chair in front of her desk. Adjusting the pink bow on her head, she grabbed a cup of tea that had just been freshly brewed and downed it all in one gulp.

Suddenly, she felt a tingling sensation. It started in her throat, and spread to the rest of her body. Umbridge collapsed onto the floor, wishing it would stop. The tingling was getting stronger and stronger. _Those brats must have drugged my tea. They will be punished for this! _Umbridge thought as she fell unconscious.

* * *

When Umbridge woke up, she found herself on a park bench with a pillow behind her head. Cherry trees stood nearby, and pink petals occasionally floated down to the ground. An Asian man was sitting next to her, looking at her concernedly.

"Hello. I found you on the ground, so I put you here." he said. "You look a bit bruised. Perhaps you can stay at my house until you recover?" Umbridge gladly accepted. After all, if this Muggle wanted to capture her, she could always use her wand.

The man motioned for her to stand up, which she did without hesitation. She couldn't show any weaknesses in front of a Muggle. As they walked along, Umbridge had to take hurried, quick steps to keep up with the man's pace.

"_Hem, hem._ What is your name?" she inquired. If this man harmed her, she could report him to the Muggle please-men!

The man quickly said, "Japan", not even bothering to slow down his pace.

"Hm?" Umbridge thought out loud. "I'm afraid I didn't hear you the first time. What did you say again?"

After a few moments, the word "Japan" was repeated, in a slightly more annoyed tone.

Umbridge decided to stop asking questions. This Muggle was clearly delusional, naming himself after a country. However, he was taking care of her, and that was what mattered.

They reached a house that greatly resembled a pagoda. "This is my house," the man said. "It is slightly stereotypical, but I think you will like it. Would you like some tea?"

"_Hem, hem._ Yes, of course!" Umbridge simpered. She wouldn't miss a cup of tea. And she'd get to try Japanese tea too! What an exciting experience!

They walked inside, and "Japan" started to make the tea. He took some tea leaves and put them at the bottom of a porcelain teacup.

"But where's the teabag?" Umbridge asked.

"Teabag? You Westerners are very strange." was the reply.

Umbridge sat herself down on a grass mat. Since this Muggle obviously wasn't very talkative, she decided to make some conversation. "I love cats, especially kittens! Do you?" There was no answer, so she kept talking. "Cats and kittens are so cute! They're warm and fuzzy and they're cuddly, too! And kittens make such adorable 'meow's when they're petted! Isn't that wonderful?"

As Umbridge rambled on and on about kittens, she didn't see the look on Japan's face get darker and darker.

"I have a collection of plates with kittens on them at home. They're curled up in the most _adorable_ positions-"

Suddenly, she found a katana at her throat. The man was glaring at her. "I have had enough of you. Get out."

"O-oh! Surely you do not want-"

"I said, get out." He was speaking in a calm and collected manner, but the look he gave Umbridge could kill.

Umbridge's hand inched down to where her wand was, only to discover that it wasn't there. "O-ok, I'll go now!" she hurriedly said before tripping over backwards and falling out the door. She ran as fast as her chubby legs could carry her back to the park bench. Aha! There was her wand! Umbridge snatched it up. After resting for a few minutes, she got up again and headed a different direction, this time west.

* * *

**A/N- Well, there you go guys! Umbridge annoying Japan until he snaps! Can anyone guess who the next country is? First person to do so gets a free virtual cookie at the start of next chapter! Review please!**


	2. Pink is not art

**A/N: Since no one guessed correctly, thanks to ThatGirlUmderTheBox for guessing the closest! *gives cookie* But the next country is...**

* * *

Umbridge kept walking further west, away from the house of the man with the katana. She looked around. Everything seemed oriental, from the lily ponds to the red lanterns hanging from that gazebo nearby._ I must be in an Asian neighborhood,_ Umbridge thought. She would certainly tell the Minister of these Muggles.

Before long, she began to grow tired. Her thick, pudgy legs moved slower and slower. However, she saw a house in the distance. The faint sound of pop music could be heard coming from it. Umbridge forced herself to walk faster, in hopes of finding some directions.

When she was almost there, she stopped and listened to the music. _What filthy Muggle music,_ she thought. She couldn't even understand it, as the lyrics were in a different language. And much too fast! She'd certainly rather listen to Celestina Warbeck._  
_

Finally, Umbridge reached the house, out of breath. There was no doorbell, so she rapped on the door with her knuckles. No answer. _Stupid music, _she thought. She rapped again, this time harder.

A boy of about 15 opened the door. "May I come in?" Umbridge simpered. _Where are his parents? _she thought. _How careless Muggles are these days._

"Of course, da-ze!" the child said, smiling. "Who are you?"

"_Hem, hem._ I am Dolores Umbridge, High Inquisitor of Hog-" She stopped in mid-sentence. That Muggle might have almost found out that she was a witch!

"You come from a place called Hog? That's very funny, da-ze! I'm Korea!" The child stepped back to let her in. He led her into another room and started preparing some tea. Umbridge was quite grateful to see this, as she had missed the cup of tea (not drugged) she usually had right before bed. _Speaking of bed, why is it daytime here?_

Umbridge was deep in thought, when she suddenly remembered that the boy said he was Korea. "Why is your name Korea?" she asked.

"That's 'cause I am Korea, da-ze! I thought I told you already!"

Now Umbridge was comfused. She noticed a slight throb in her head. _Must be that music,_ she thought, dismissing it.

The child's sudden voice interrupted her musings. "Do you want to meet my sister North Korea? She shy and she likes art and music! She doesn't like K-Pop though, just traditional stuff."

Umbridge debated this in her head. For one, she could get away from this annoying kid. But what if his sister was even worse? She decided to take the chance. "I'd love to see her! Where is she?"

"She lives right around the corner! I'll take you there!"

* * *

Korea bounced happily along the sidewalk. "Hurry up!" he called. Umbridge trailed behind, waddling on stubby legs.

They turned a corner. The child directed Umbridge to a grey house. He banged on the door. "Sister!" he shouted. "You have a visitor! She says she's from a place called Hog!"

The door opened to reveal a girl of about the same age as Korea. "You don't need to knock so _loud_," she said, giving a disapproving look at the boy. She then turned to stare at Umbridge. "_This_ is my visitor? Well then, come in."

"Good-bye, person from Hog!" Korea yelled before he sprinted away. _What an immature child, _Umbridge thought_. He's even worse than the Potter brat!_

The girl snapped her fingers to get Umbridge's attention. "So, um, would you like to see one of my paintings?" Umbridge readily agreed. The girl exited the room, leaving Umbridge to reflect on this strange place. What was with all these people being named after countries? Perhaps some new filthy Muggle trend. Umbridge checked to see that her wand was still there. Yes, it was.

"Here it is," North Korea said. Umbridge hadn't noticed her come in. How silly of her. She took a look at the painting. It was a landscape painting. A grassy field dotted with trees and flowers outlined a chain of mountains in the background. "How is it?" the girl asked.

Umbridge studied it for a few more seconds before commenting, "_Hem, hem. _It's missing something..."

"What?" North Korea asked. "I always want to improve my work."

"Hem, hem. Well, it needs more pink."

"More pink? Are the flowers not enough?" North Korea grabbed a piece of scrap paper and some colored pencils. She drew a rough outline of the painting and turned to Umbridge. "Color it in the way you think it should be. Tell me when you're done." With that she took the painting and left.

Umbridge immediately grabbed hold of the pink colored pencil and started scribbling. "_Hem, hem._ I am finished!" she called when she was done. _If only I hadn't drawn this on scrap paper. It would be such a masterpiece it would be in a museum!_

North Korea entered the room and gaped at the "masterpiece"."W-what is this?" she stammered. "This- it's all pink! Everything! This is trash! Even my no-good brother would be ashamed!"

"But it's perfect!" Umbridge retorted. "Just the right amount of pink! Only filthy blood-traitors would want no pink in it! Pink is the perfect color! It's-"

Umbridge's rant was cut off by the sight of her "masterpiece" being ripped to shreds in the hands of North Korea. "Noooo!" she wailed. "Not my work of art!" She collapsed on the floor sobbing.

"You must have a mental disorder if you'd ever consider that _art._" North Korea kicked Umbridge in the direction of the door. When that failed to move her chubby body, she took a broom out of a closet and pushed her with the handle. When they reached the door, Umbridge was still flailing. North Korea opened the door, and with one final heave, shoved the toad-like lady out. "Good-bye," she said before slamming the door in Umbridge's face.

**A/N- Kugelmugel wouldn't be as generous as North Korea. He'd throw a fit and start chucking paint at her. Then he'd cut her open with scissors and grind her up using a pencil sharpener. Then he'd put her mutilated body on display as a "work of art". First person to guess the next country gets half a virtual cookie (because it's kinda obvious)! Please review!**


	3. Beware of the Wok!

**A/N- Thanks to hello this is me speaking for guessing correctly! *gives half a cookie* Here's another chapter!**

* * *

After tumbling down the stone stairs that led up to North Korea's house, Umbridge, with much difficulty, sat herself up. Thankfully, her pudginess has broken most of the fall. She stumbled off in a random direction, clutching her wand.

The oriental decoration still stretched on as far as Umbridge could see. However, it had become slightly different, but she couldn't pinpoint what. She kept walking, hoping that there would be a house where she could get some food and water. _I hope it'a not another delusional person naming himself after a country,_ Umbridge thought._  
_

And she still had not gotten her tea.

A European-styled house appeared over the horizon. Umbridge sped up to a jog, tired out after 15 seconds, and walked again.

Then she heard a crash.

"Take that, stupid England-aru!" someone shouted. Umbridge forced herself to walk faster. How dare someone insult her country! She walked closer and saw the house being demolished- by a girl with a ponytail holding a frying pan. She was hitting the walls repeatedly with the pan. When that didn't work, she yelled "Aiyah, it's going to get dented!" With that, she did a perfect roundhouse kick that sent a hole in the wall. "There!"

Umbridge walked up to the girl and said, "Why are you destroying this house? Certainly a lady like you should not be doing that."

"Aiyah! I'm a man, aru!" the man yelled, clearly exasperated.

"Oh my, I'm sorry!" Umbridge sneered. "What are you doing with that frying pan?"

"It's a wok! You need to study your cooking utensils more!"

Umbridge scratched her head. "What is your name?" she asked. Hopefully he wasn't another crazy "country".

"I'm China-aru!" Theory proved wrong. "You look tired! Do you want something to eat?" Umbridge was, in fact, very tired, and she accepted the invitation. "I'll take you to my house!" the man said. Umbridge was now more confused. The throbbing in her head had intensified slightly. "But I thought you were destroying your house!"

"That's not _my_ house anymore, aru. That was the one England made me build. Stupid England! I hope he dies of opium overdose like I almost did." He led Umbridge to amother house, this one distinctly more Oriental.

As they were walking, Umbridge attempted to make conversation. "Why were you breaking that English house? Surely it is an insult." Inside, she was fuming. This man with long hair had the audacity to insult her country!

"That's cause England got me addicted to stupid opium-aru. He brought it over to my citizens and they got addicted! I'm not addicted anymore-aru. Haven't you heard of the Opium Wars?"

Umbridge, being a pure blood witch, had never bothered to investigate in Muggle affairs, and had absolutely no clue what opium was. She didn't answer.

They reached China's house. Umbridge walked inside. The room smelled of paint. Buckets of red, white and yellow paint stood beside the door. She was given a cup of water and gulped it greedily, being very thirsty.

"Aiyah!" China exclaimed. "Don't drink it so fast! You'll get hiccups, and then I'll have to give you even more water!" He calmed down and let Umbridge sit on the couch. "You can rest there-aru." He then went to another room. When he came back, he was holding a panda plushie. "You can play with Shinatty-chan while you're resting." He exited the room.

Umbridge looked at the panda in her hands. It was black and white. She remembered the buckets of paint by the door. She got an idea.

And when Umbridge gets ideas, she follows through.

* * *

When China returned to the room to check on Umbridge, he found her in the corner with his paint, painting... Was that Shinatty-chan?! Umbridge, noticing he had come in, quickly put her hands behind her back and smiled.

China was not amused. To put it mildly.

"What did you do with Shinatty-chan?" he asked menacingly. Umbridge stared innocently. China whipped a wok out from behind his back and brandished it in front of him.

"Show me your hands or you will face the fury of my wok, aru." Umbridge then realized she was still carrying her wand. She whipped it in front of her with her right hand, the other hand still grasping the stuffed panda behind her back. "I can cast spells, you know."

"What is a stick going to do to me?" China laughed. Umbridge had had enough. "Stupefy!" she shouted.

China, using inhumanly possible reflexes, ducked right when the spell was inches from his face. He then advanced on Umbridge, who was panicking. _Now I have to wipe this Muggle's memory, or he'll tell the whole world about the magical community!_ "Oblivate!" she shouted, when China was right in front of her. A bolt of light arced straight for the man's chest.

The spell bounced off.

China bashed the wok on top on Umbridge's head.

She immediately dropped the panda, which he grabbed. He continued bashing her head while staring at the horrific color Shinatty-chan now was.

After Umbridge was unconscious, China stopped the wok. He grabbed her hair, dragged her to the front door, and threw her into the street (along with her wand).

He returned inside and went to the bathroom to scrub the pink paint off Shinatty-chan.

**A/N- Ha! First chapter where Umbridge actually gets hurt! Remember- Don't mess with China unless you want a wok in your face. First person to guess the next character gets a free virtual cupcake at the start of the next chapter! Please review!**


	4. Toad and Vodka

**A/N- Thanks to ThatGirlUnderTheBox, hello this is me speaking and Random Person (guest) for guessing correctly! *gives cupcake and half-cupcakes, respectively***

* * *

When Umbridge came to, her headache was strong enough to be noticed, but able to be swallowed away after a few big gulps. She snatched her wand off the ground and dragged herself of the road to the grass on the side, slightly ripping her cardigan in the process. After resting for a few minutes, she stood up and headed down the road, away from China's house.

After walking for a while, she came to a place where the Asian decoration simply stopped. In front of her was a huge grassland. Against anyone's better judgement, Umbridge decided to continue. Her headache could have seriously damaged her Apparating, so she walked.

After 100 meters or so, Umbridge began to grow tired. She forced herself to push on. My, it was getting cold. She wished she had worn a coat on top of her cardigan. Umbridge shivered.

Bending down, she plucked a stalk of grass in hopes of eating something. She put it in her mouth and immediately spit it out. _How could grass grow if it was so DRY,_ she wondered.

Suddenly, a pond up ahead caught Umbridge's attention. _Water! _she thought. She headed towards it, when it disappeared.

Dang. Was this a desert or something?

Umbridge kept wandering. As she walked, she thought about these "countries" and became even more confused. _Why do they keep calling themselves nations? Is it a Muggle trend? How dare this "China" destroy a house of England! I will certainly tell the Minister to send a group to exterminate this filth._

For Umbridge had not realized the fact that she was not in the United Kingdom. But that didn't really matter to her, as she was one of those people who thought that Scotland was part of England.

* * *

3 hours later, it suddenly started snowing. Umbridge, thirsting for anything to drink, began catching snowflakes with her tongue. They did little to help. Her footsteps were now very slow, pausing after each one to take a deep breath.

A huge house appeared over the horizon. Hoping that it wasn't a mirage, Umbridge headed in that direction. She got close, and when it didn't dissapear, concluded that it was not a mirage.

Umbridge heaved herself up the wooden steps, coming to a stop in front of the door. She knocked weakly. The door opened to reveal a very tall man wearing a scarf.

"Excuse me," she simpered. "Do you know the directions to London?"

"London? You want to visit England, da?" the man said.

"But we are in England. Tell me the directions to London!" Umbridge ordered. What was this man talking about, "visiting England"?

"It is 2508 kilometers west of here, if that is what you mean," the man said. "I am Russia. You will come in for some vodka, da?" He smiled. Umbridge however, being as oblivious as she is, was not creeped out. "Of course," she said, "But do you have any water?" She had long given up on tea.

"Vodka is Russian water. You will drink some, da?" The man backed away from the entrance. Umbridge took this as an invitation to come in. She stepped inside and was led to what she assumed was a kitchen. A few sunflowers in pots lined the window.

Umbridge was given a big glass of vodka. She drank the whole thing in a few gulps, thinking it was water. It burned her throat. She dizzily waddled to put it in the sink.

Meanwhile, Russia had a faraway look on his face. He began speaking in broken thoughts: "It's so nice to have someone in my house again... So empty... Since 1991... The Soviet Union was fun..." Then he turned to Umbridge. "Sweep the floor."

"W-what?" Umbridge stuttered. Why was this man giving her orders? Surely she was a guest, not a servant.

"I said, you will sweep the floor now, da? The Soviet Union was very fun. I want to have a little taste of that now." Umbridge did have a faint idea what the Soviet Union was. It was a country, wasn't it? "No!" she said indignantly. "I am not some petty servant! I am the undersecretary of the Minister and the High Inquisitor of-"

She was cut off by Russia pulling out a pipe from inside his coat. "Sweep the floor, or I will use the magic stick!" _Magic stick? _Umbridge wondered. Russia waved the pipe around threateningly. Umbridge hurriedly grabbed a broom in the corner and started sweeping. However, she had never swept a floor without magic, so she ended up brushing the dirt all over the place.

"You're doing it wrong," Russia said, not bothering to tell her the "correct" way. "Do it faster, too! My little Baltics were much better."

Umbridge lost her temper. She hurled the broom onto the ground, pulled out her wand and shouted "Scourgify!" at the floor. All the dust and dirt immediately disappeared, leaving a shining clean floor.

Russia clapped in joy. "Now that is a _real_ magic stick!" he exclaimed. "Now you can wash the dishes too!" Umbridge, furious at 1) taking orders and 2) this Muggle's apparent delight at her magic, threw her wand on the table and turned on the tap instead of casting a spell.

"I am going to take a shower," Russia said. "When I come back, I expect the dishes to be washed and put away." He walked up the stairs, leaving Umbridge alone in the kitchen.

She thought for a few seconds, then turned the tap off. Drying her hands on the cardigan, she took her wand off the table, walked to the front door and opened it. _Freedom!_ she thought. She drunkenly stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind her. Umbridge waddled down the steps, almost falling off one, and walked in another direction.

* * *

**A/N- Don't worry. Russia'll get her eventually... Just so you know, this story takes place in Harry's 5th year. That means it is 1995, and the USSR had collapsed 4 years earlier (when Harry started Hogwarts). First person who can guess what the grasslands were gets two virtual donuts, and first person to guess the next country gets a lollipop! (Hint: There are 3.) Please review!**


	5. Do not mess with technology

**A/N- And... Random Person (guest) has guessed the correct countries! *gives lollipop* Still waiting on the grasslands, though, but I will close it after the seventh chapter, and whoever guessed the closest gets the virtual donuts. And the next chapter is...**

* * *

Umbridge kept running away from Russia. When the house disappeared over the horizon, she was exhausted. She closed her eyes and stumbled on. It wasn't like a Dementor was going to jump out and attack her.

If she had not looked up in time, she might have almost slammed into the tree that was now in front of her. Behind it extended a forest. Umbridge, once again going against common sense, decided to go through.

She walked until she encountered a stream. Sighing, she wet her hands and splashed her face with water. What a relief after that vodka, plus all the walking she'd done!

Only then did she notice the deer on the other side of the stream, calmly sipping water. She gasped. _A deer! So light and graceful. If only I could pet it, _Umbridge thought. _Wait, maybe I can! I just reach over the stream, and touch it! _She decided to act on her thoughts, and stretched her short arm over the steam. Just a few more centimeters... Aha! Her sausage fingers brushed the deer's skin-

Oh. It was a moose. How could she have not noticed those antlers before?

"Yaaaaaaaaaaah!" Umbridge screamed as it charged, leaping over the small stream and heading straight for her. She was panicking so much she couldn't find the right words for a spell. The moose backed her up against the tree, twitched its ear...

And bounded off into the forest.

The throbbing in Umbridge's head had increased minutely. She tried thinking to push the pain aside, but all she could think of were questions. _Why did that strange man try to make me his servant? Why did he call his pipe a "magic stick"? Why didn't that moose kill me? Was it bewitched? What's this forest? Where am I?_

Umbridge barely noticed when she came upon a clearing. When she did, she was elated to see the house in the center. _I can get food, and sleep! _she thought. It was getting dark quickly, and she needed a bed to rest in. She could go without dinner today.

She walked up to the front of the house and rang the doorbell. There was no answer, so she "Alohomora"d the door and invited herself in. After all, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts could do anything.

Suddenly, there was a buzzing sound. Umbridge spun around, only to see a wall of red lasers surrounding her. She attempted walking through the light cage. When that didn't work, she tried casting spells, but they seemed to just pass through.

Umbridge turned around to see a boy of about 19 standing there. He adjusted his glasses and asked, "Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" He stuck his head through the door frame to another room and said something Umbridge couldn't hear. Two other boys, one very short, joined the one with glasses.

"Unlock your technology this instant, you filthy Muggles!" she spat.

They just watched in amusement. "Hello. I'm Estonia," the one with glasses said. "This is Latvia," he tapped the short one on the shoulder "and Lithuania." He gestured to the remaining boy.

"Would you like some tea?" the short one asked.

"Oh of course!" she replied, not noticing him exchange mischievous look with the one with glasses.

Estonia took a remote out of his pocket. He pressed a few buttons, and the laser web started moving, forcing Umbridge to walk along. She was led into the kitchen. The web stopped right above a chair. Umbridge sat down. Latvia started to make tea. After he poured hot water on the teabag, he left the room with Estonia and Lithuania.

Umbridge was just about to put the cup to her lips when Lithuania popped his head in the room. "We've decided you can stay for the night. It's getting dark." Umbridge decided to display a false sense of gratitude. "Why, thank you!" she simpered. "I don't know how far I am from home."

The three boys directed her to the couch. Umbridge plopped down, with the laser cage still surrounding her. They turned off the light and left.

It was nearly an hour before Umbridge managed to fall asleep. The light was keeping her up, as well as those strange scuffling noises coming from upstairs...

* * *

Umbridge yawned and stretched her arms. _Where am I? _she thought. Her headache was even worse now, due to the vodka she drank. Then she remembered the events of the previous night. The red web was still around her. "_Hem, hem. _Hello? May someone please get this strange thing off me?"

No answer. Umbridge decided that they had gone out for the morning. She came up with a plan. Propping herself up on the couch, she grabbed her wand, and with a little flick, Apparated outside the laser cage.

She walked to the kitchen. Seeing nobody there, she decided to make breakfast. As food tasted so much better if you didn't conjure it, Umbridge rummaged through the cupboard and found a box of pancake mix. She walked to the counter, and slipped on a puddle of water that sent her sprawling on the floor.

A faint click of a camera came from the shadows. "Who's there?" Umbridge asked, pushing herself up. _Probably just the wind or something, _she thought. She grabbed the pancake mix and dumped some into a large bowl that was sitting on the counter. After looking through the ice-box (she sadly didn't know the name) she found some eggs and milk. She cracked the eggs and poured the milk into a bowl, then started mixing with a spoon.

Once the batter was no longer lumpy, Umbridge stopped stirring. She didn't know what to do next, as she had failed to read the instructions on the back of the pancake box. Deciding to just do what her gut told her, she simply took out the spoon and put the bowl in the microwave. Umbridge fiddled with the controls. _How confusing Muggle things are!_ she thought. The screen read "10:54" right when Umbridge pressed the "Start" button.

The microwave started. Umbridge waited. And waited. And waited, until the microwave door burst open, splashing half-cooked batter onto Umbridge, now furious and sopping wet. Some mix was stuck in her hair, and she desperately tried to claw it out. The microwave, however, kept going even though it was open.

Another click could have been heard if you listened closely enough, but the buzzing of the microwave drowned out the sound.

Umbrdige, shocked by the explosion, grabbed a few paper towels and tried to wipe herself off. Then she walked to the front door and went outside. She rolled around in the front yard, trying to get the batter off. After she had done a decent job, she closed the front door and walked off. Today she would have to skip breakfast.

Meanwhile, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania crouched over a computer in a room on the second floor. "Great job Latvia," Lithuania whispered. "You should become a photographer someday." Estonia uploaded the photos and videos to the computer. He attached them to an email and pressed "send". A confirmation message appeared:

_Successfully sent to: _**_Tea_Gentleman_**_ at hetaworld__ dot com._

Estonia smiled and closed the window.

* * *

**A/N- After that second paragraph, I hope you were having mental images of Umbridge slamming into trees :) Remember, Umbridge still has a headache. I still haven't forgotten about Russia. He'll be coming soon. Also, feel free to correct any typos I have (even if they're in the A/N!) It'll make me a better writer. Whoever first says the fact that inspired the idea of a forest gets 2 cupcakes, and first person to guess the next two countries in the next chapter gets a cookie! Don't forget that you can still guess the grasslands. Anyway, enough of my rambling- Please review!**


	6. Muddy Pancake Mix

**A/N- Sorry for the long wait. I went to a few parties and didn't have any time to work on this :( Just so you know, updates will be pretty random once school starts. Well, here's another chapter, and Anonymoose (guest) has guessed the countries correctly! *gives cookie***

* * *

Umbridge walked on, and on, and on. The sun wasn't very high in the sky yet, but to Umbridge it felt like burning rays were being beamed down on her, making her sweat. "Augumenti!" she cried, pointing her wand at her mouth. Water spurted out the end.

However, it was hot water. It burned Umbridge's mouth. She retched. _I guess I'll have to find another house, then_, she thought. She kept walking, not bothering to Apparate, as her headache was getting stronger.

A house appeared in the distance. Umbridge hopefully walked towards it. She still had no idea where she was.

She reached the front door, panting. After remembering to knock, she mused. Her thoughts became more and more mixed up. _What is this place? Where am I? Where's Hogwarts? How come it's so hot? Why are all these "countries" so insolent? What is the Potter brat doing? Wait, what's the name of that caretaker- ah, Argus. How can he stand those brats? Wait, who's Argus?_

The sound of the door opening interrupted her thoughts. A girl was standing in the enteranceway. "Who are you? Go away, I don't have time for strangers," she spat before slamming the door.

Umbridge stood in shock for a few seconds before knocking again. The girl opened the door. "What do you want?" she snapped. _How rude,_ Umbridge thought.

"_Hem, hem._ I do not know where I am." Umbridge simpered. "I have been walking for hours. Could I perhaps have a little food and drink, and then some directions?"

The girl snorted. "Well, since you're so _obviously_ in need of help, come in. I am Belarus." she said. She led Umbridge into the house and sat her down at a table. Umbridge was given two loaves of bread and a glass of water. _How stingy,_ she thought.

Biting into the bread, Umbridge heaved a sigh of relief. At last someone was giving her something!

Just then, Russia burst in through the door. "I knew I would find you here," he said to Umbridge. "You will come back to my house again, da?" Umbridge backed into a corner.

Then he realized that breaking into Belarus' house was not a good idea.

"Have you come to marry me, big brother?" Belarus asked. Russia turned around in fear and started running. "Ahhhhhh!" he screamed. Belarus took off after him.

_How filthy,_ Umbridge thought. _Wanting to marry your relative! People like her should be wiped out._

A few minutes later, Belarus returned. Umbridge was still there.

"Were you 'having fun' with my big brother?" she asked menacingly.

"N-no..." Umbridge stuttered. Merlin, this girl was scary!

"Don't lie to me. I know you were." Belarus pulled out a knife from seemingly nowhere. Umbridge backed up. The knife was now held at her throat. If she moved, her head would immediately be sliced off.

Suddenly, a ringtone blasted. Belarus dropped the knife in surprise. She pulled out her phone and swore. "Dammit_, _Lithuania! You're an idiot! Shut up, I'll block you! I'll break your fingers again! You _[censored]_-"

_Wasn't that Lith-person one of those boys? _Umbridge wondered. Well, no time to waste. Umbridge hurriedly ran out of the door. She ran and ran, keeping on even when her legs hurt (which was in about 20 meters). By the time Belarus stopped ranting about how stupid Lithuania was, it was already too late.

She slowed down to a walk, panting and sweating. _How unclean these people are,_ she thought. A path stretched out in front of her. She walked on, not daring to go into the woods again.

And she still had not gotten directions.

A few minutes went by. Umbridge caught sight of another house. She sighed yet again. Surely not all people could be that rude. Walking to the door, she rang the bell and waited.

The door was opened by a woman in blue overalls. "Hello," she said warmly. "Who are you?"

"_Hem, hem. _I am Dolores Umbridge, Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts..." Umbridge suddenly realized she had broken the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. Oh well.

"You look lost- would you like to come in for some bread?" the woman asked. "I'm Ukraine. Nice to meet you!" Umbridge was taken inside a small wooden house. _What a disgusting old hovel,_ she thought.

Ukraine handed Umbridge a slice of bread. It was still warm from the oven. Umbridge chomped into it hungrily. It would have been so much better without her headache.

She slumped back in her chair, and her eyes were inadvertently drawn to Ukraine's chest. Umbridge stared. And stared. The bread was getting cold, but she still had her eyes glued there, ignoring the uncomfortable looks Ukraine gave her.

"Eat your bread," Ukraine said, snapping Umbridge out of her trance. Oh, how rude she'd been! Umbridge promised to herself that she would never do that again.

Of course, after half a minute, her eyes were drawn back to Ukraine's bosom.

Umbridge's sight range was not wide enough to see the glare on Ukraine's face that was growing stronger by the second. She was very surprised to see Ukraine stand up and grab her by her cardigan. Umbridge struggled in vain.

"YOU WILL LOOK ME IN THE EYES OR DESPAIR!" Ukraine yelled, pushing Umbridge out the front door and into a puddle of mud. She slammed the door. By this time, Umbridge had stopped straining and just lay there.

After a full half hour, Umbridge dragged herself out of the dirt and shook her ripped and filthy cardigan, now covered with muddy pancake mix. Clutching her head, she waddled off in a random direction, hoping it was the way back to Hogwarts- or better, London, where the Ministry was.

* * *

**A/N- Well, there's Snapped-ish Ukraine for you, because nobody can act completely in-character around Umbridge. Also, a GIGANTIC reference- find it! Same routine as usual- first person to guess the next country gets a cookie. You can still guess the grasslands and the forest- we need more guessers! Review please?**


End file.
